Does everyone remember the naked man from How I Met Your Mother? Well if you don’t know, you should go now and watch that show from start to finish and if you do, well that happened to me and let’s just say it almost worked. Almost.
So I had been out for drinks with this guy a few times. He was funny, very funny and he was just a great person to hang with. However there was one issue. I wasn’t attracted to him in anyway. It was clear he wanted something out of this and I just couldn’t bring myself to it. However I was being an ass and kissing him when we were drunk so I guess you could say I was was being a ‘fuck boy’. The more I write about these stories the more I think I need to check myself. Am I what I hate? Well shit. That’s for another time I guess.
There was one night he wanted to walk me home. Now I didn’t want him to but I’m unfortunately a Libra. I’m the worlds biggest people pleaser. So I let him. Once we got to mine he wanted to come in for a drink and I again agreed for one drink… Yes I’m also giving myself a facepalm so don’t worry. So he came up had a beer and I went to the bathroom. The next minute he’s on my bed naked. That’s right, naked. I stood there in shock and then laughed a lot. I don’t think he appreciated that. He’s one of those funny guys that I don’t think tries to be funny. He just is. So maybe he thought this was sexy, and maybe if I was attracted to him I would have thought it was sexy too. But I just didn’t know what to do. My first instinct was no. But then I felt that I owed it to him, so I tried for a solid min or so and then decided no this really isn’t for me. I told him I was too drunk and that he needed to go. He got changed and then grabbed another beer out of my fridge. I was in shock this dude wasn’t embarrassed, he did not give a fuck. He continued to ask if he could stay the night. Probably in hopes that I sober up and he can fuck me in the morning. But by this point I couldn’t believe it. I said no and offered to book him an uber. Part of me secretly loved saying that because it’s such a ‘man’ thing to do to a woman, so for me to say it felt fucking powerful. He ended up leaving on his own accord and that was that.
Here’s the thing, the naked man, a hilarious act to watch on TV. Clearly where this dude got it from. In reality was super disrespectful. By doing the naked man it made me feel as though I owed it to him now. I felt like I had to fuck him. I’ve had way to many people make me feel like I can’t say no, I don’t know if they realize it but if someone is hesitating stop pushing for it. Be a respectful human and move on. I used to question if this was my fault. Being a people pleasure I do have a tendency to have a hard time saying no, but I have always showed my hesitation loud and clear or made up 300 excuses to not and they still keep pushing. So for me, if you are fucking someone for the first time or just trying to fuck them please don’t try the naked man. It’s going to make the other person feel incredibly uncomfortable. However, if you have been dating or fucking for a while and this has been discussed as a good to go thing I say fucking go for it. Gives you a good laugh and shows your vulnerable side. So the moral of the story here, read your situation. Discuss things with your partner and lastly don’t do the naked man on the first date.
Love Always, Ashley