Why woman don’t feel comfortable to let their girly side shine
The Girly-Girl. A category of woman that is defined by loving pink, weak, fearful, loves shopping, hates dirt and always carries a purse around…. WHAT, I know. When I googled this I burst out laughing however was somewhat offended that someone who shows their feminine side is placed into these categories. I’ve recently been thinking about the way people react when I’m wearing something ‘girly’. I get comments like “you are so extra”, “how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?”, “you are so not suited for the coffee industry” and last but not least, the best one of them all “basic”.
I consider myself a feminist, as most woman and men do. For a long time I believed that I couldn’t be a feminist because I was too girly. I thought I wouldn’t be accepted into this community because of the way I looked. I grew up dancing all my life, I was taught to apply makeup from the age of 5. I was wearing dance heels at age 10 and was encourage to show my feminine and sexy side on stage when performing. This has all shaped me as a human being. I like to dress up and experiment with clothes and I love wearing and doing my makeup however this doesn’t define who I am. When I really started to connect myself with the ‘feminist’ I thought that to be taken seriously I had to suppress certain things that I love like clothing and makeup. I felt as though I had to steer away from this girly mentality because it was perceived as high maintenance and not the smartest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean. However, I’m now saying fuck it. I still receive comments and looks from men and woman, judging the way I look, however at least I am being truthful to myself.
During the second-wave feminist in the 60’s woman were suppressed and put into a box. They were meant to look beautiful, cook and clean for the family however never hold down a paying job. Women wanted more. They wanted to be taken seriously, have a career for themselves and have the same god damn rights as men do. These incredible woman paved the way for so many amazing opportunities that we have today. Who am I kidding, they aren’t amazing opportunities they are fucking basic rights every human being should have. But anyway, I feel as though due to these stereotypes of the ‘girly-girl’ woman no longer show this side to them because they want to be taken seriously. No, I’m not trying to say that all woman want to be girly and I’m not trying to say woman have to be girly because woman and men can be whoever the fuck they want to be. However, many woman suppress their feminine side to fit into the gender norms of a successful human. However, what we are all forgetting is that our femininity is our power. I feel as though woman have compromised their whole lives. To receive one thing they must shed apart of them and I’m just not down for it. No sir, I’m not.
Before living in Utah I never felt as though I had to prove anything to anyone. Men and woman in Sydney for the most part are put on the same pedestal. However in Utah, it’s a little different. Due to the Mormon culture that is so present in the community, there is a large group of humans that believe in the same things as you and I do. And they yell it loud and clear. I personally think this is incredible just how many people are willing to stand up for their rights as individuals, however it also has a dark side. In the ideal world we shouldn’t have to fight for equal rights and inclusion. I live right next to the temple. Many people I pass on my morning commute are from the LDS community and the looks I receive walking to work everyday is unbelievable. Whether it’s because I’m being too provocative, like showing a shoulder or wearing a short dress, it happens everyday. I’ve never had people stare at me and now I feel like I’m an animal in a cage. It’s a surreal feeling and it’s one of the reasons why I wrote this blog. I was once picked up by an uber driver. He chose to tell me that this city was being ruined by humans like me. All because I was wearing a singlet top and worked in the coffee industry. Unfortunately it’s not just the people who call themselves LDS (Latter-day Saints), but also the people who grew up in that community. I don’t like to say that every ex-mormon has these views however many that I stumble upon seem to have extreme views embedded into their brain. My ex being one of them. He comes across as being very forward thinking and easy going however the minute we started dating he had these crazy ideas that if I wore a low cut shirt, it meant I was asking for attention from other men. Or if I hung out with men, I wanted to fuck them. I don’t necessarily blame him for these views, he grew up with them and his family still holds these standards. However, he definitely hasn’t attempted to see the other side to this. Instead blaming others for doing these things when in reality it’s very normal. Post breakup is when I really started to speak my mind. I was lucky in my past and had never been at the receiving end sexism, so I was definitely blinded by what was really going on. However, now that I live in Utah I think it is essential to speak your mind openly and honestly and express yourself in anyway you feel.
If I want to put makeup on my face and wear a hot pink dress, I should be allowed to without receiving comments on how shallow, high maintenance and boring I must be. I should be taken seriously in every job I do because I’m a hard working, intelligent woman. And lastly I shouldn’t be sexualized because I wanted to show a shoulder or undo an extra button on my shirt. I am a girly-girl and I like it.