I was recently confronted by a family member. They were concerned about the content I was posting on this platform. Afraid it would affect jobs, relationships and put me in danger for terrible things. Past me probably would have freaked out and said you don’t understand me, shutting them out of my life for a while. However, I’ve become more understanding of other point of views and understand that my way of thinking is not the only way of thinking. Thats the reason its not blasted all over my social media and on a separate platform all together. Not everyone wants to read about this content and I don’t want to force my beliefs on to others. It was interesting to sit down and explain to my mum exactly why I am posting provocative content and my personal experiences openly and honestly. However it was also exciting because I felt as though she understood who I am and what I believe in.
My views on life have drastically changed in the past year or two and I am so excited about it. Not because I want to change but because I’m going through this crazy rollercoaster at the moment where I’m really diving deep and figuring out who I am. I hope this feeling never goes away. I obviously want to feel content with who I am as a human however I also want to continue to change and evolve. It’s an interesting part of life that continues to amaze me. So why these topics? Well I think we all know that story and I can’t be bothered to go back into the past. So one word, abuse. Physically and mentally, all at once in a crazy love hurricane. I was lucky or unlucky, I’m not to sure, to be sheltered from this crazy thing that affects the world however it hit me like a ton of bricks when I moved to the US and well I didn’t know what to think. So after all of that and another year of being really fucking sad and honestly in denial for much of it, I came to the realization that I wasn’t crazy. Well I am, but not that kind of crazy. And that many, in fact millions and probably billions of people go through the same emotions as I did and continue to. I talk about my story because sometimes you need to read a story about someone distant from you that you feel connected to. You feel comfort in similarities. For better and worse. And unfortunately I am not one to shy away from this. People only give a shit about something once they go through it. A perfect example of this would be the bloody gun laws in the US. People only seem to open there eyes to the destruction that is happening around them once a loved one is affected. It takes fucking murder for you to realize that guns are not good for society. But anyway, that’s another topic and another time.
So my blog. Why do I write this? Why do I post serious, funny, intimate moments of my life on here. Well you see, I’m an open book and I always have been. I’ve never been afraid to speak about these topics so that defiantly made it easier for me. Another reason is because I truly believe the world as a whole is really sex negative. I put on a tv show with my dad and the first scene was a sex scene. He told me this was disgusting and to turn it off before walking away. For me this is ridiculous. I never got the birds and the bees talk and I never spoke about sex with my parents. This isn’t necessarily my parents fault however sex has become a taboo topic that people feel uncomfortable to talk about and I believe this is the reason teens are falling pregnant, STDS are so common, abuse, rape and so on. We are uneducated. As am I. I’m a 23 year old gal that is figuring her shit out and feels the need to blurt it out on this blog. I’m sure there are things I’ll write about that someone 20 years older than me will just shake their head at. And that’s ok. They have experienced it, gone through it and processed it. I’m just doing that now in my life and maybe someone 20 years older than me has never experienced it either. It’s life. But sex is one of the most important things about us. For one it actually physically creates us. Without sex I wouldn’t be here. That’s nuts. So that’s a pretty obvious one. But we humans also crave touch. Everyone needs human touch in some way shape or form. And sex is a pretty great one. It connects us to different people in ways that we can’t get through anything else. Hell, even touching yourself connects you to you. It’s an intimate moment that rushes through your body and binds one together. So if we are going to do the touching, we may as well feel open and comfortable enough to talk about it and to respect one another along the way. While also enjoying ourselves. So that’s why I write this stuff. To learn. I want to learn about life, love, relationships, sex and humans in general. I also want to be the best human I can be and sometimes to do that you need to show your faults along the way. Grow from it, learn from it and evolve into another creature. It’s almost like we mutate into a different beating heart every time a crazy life lesson comes our way. That’s fucking rad. We are literally leveling up in real life. All I’m thinking about right now is Mario bros, when you get bigger and smaller in the game. It’s us. Taking hits and then gaining more strength than you had before. This weird metaphor just got me thinking but also means that it’s time for me to stop typing. So with all of that and Mario bros of course, I really believe conversation is our power. Learn from others and feel brave and confident to speak your heart.